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25,000 pageviews. That's about 6k more than my previous account managed before I w-.... *static...deleted*

The new logo looks like a retarded stick of corn.

Apparently the site is going to "bleed and breed" art.  The whole notion of sticking the old quote of "If it bleeds it breeds" in my head makes me think they're going to start putting paedo-porn up.  Maybe it's time to gtfo?
The Warrior [TF/TG F-M] by Draconian-Satirist
The Warrior [TF/TG F-M]
A story requested by GrimmieTheLion on FA of their female human character and how they became a feral male lion.

Author's note: The requester was supposed to be drawing a picture to go with this, as part of a story>art trade, but they still haven't done it.  I'm not bothered about that, so please don't go hounding them for it.  After all, I think it's a good solid story and well worth submitting, despite what's missing from the other party.
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(Contains: strong language)
“Set yourselves up to run in at the defence,” Brynn told Paul and two of the younger players, Michael and Stewart.  They were twin badgers that played for the under eighteens and, despite the training environment, they were both nervous.  Their position in the team was that of central defenders, although right now they were attacking the opposition box from a corner.  The idea being that they would jump up and try to use their heads to send the ball towards the goal, also to add numbers to the attack and try to cause problems for the defending team.  “I’ll send balls swinging in just outside the six yard box and you knock them in.  Paul, if you can’t get your head on it then try and scramble the loose ball in if it drops.”

The fox turned away from the trio and took the ball with him over to one of the corners.  Michael and Stewart stood in awe of the team’s captain as he walked away, Paul wandered over to the edge of the eighteen yard box too, watching five of the first team defenders and reserves getting in to positions to mark his and the twin badger’s run into the box.  The youngsters would pile in to make trouble, as most inexperienced players did.  Paul stood and waited for Brynn to send it in.  He started his run slowly as Brynn stepped to the ball and launched it into the box.  Paul ran closer to meet it, jumping in the air and managing to beat the defender to it.  The ball sailed over the crossbar, missing the goal by a few feet, but despite the miss everyone could hear the team coach on the side-line shouting rather angrily at the defenders for letting Paul beat them to the ball.  The set-piece practise continued over and over for another fifteen minutes until the angry brown rabbit shouted at the players to come over to him.

“Not good enough lads,” Clough yelled them as they gathered in front of him, his two teeth seeming to the players about as sharp as his lecturing as he spoke.  “You’ve had all season to work on this and you’re still letting players beat you to the ball.  You’ve only got Kent and two wee pups to stop.  Now get back in there and clear the bloody ball.  Go!”

“Anything for us, boss?” Brynn asked as the players walked away.

“You keep doing what you do best, Evans, and ping it in there,” he told the fox.  “You and Kent have been doing this for long enough.”  Brynn walked off smiling, kicking any ball he came across over to the two corners he was using.  Paul felt a hand on his arm, stopping him from going back to training.

“Yes boss?” he asked Clough.

“I want you to get in close to the goalkeeper when the ball’s played in,” the rabbit instructed.  “I know Arnauton normally does that, being the striker, but I want you to pressure him so he doesn’t forget what it’s like in an actual game.  Got it?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Paul said as Clough released his arm and the black rat ran into the box.  He took up a position right in front of the six-and-a-half foot tall figure of Kimmelson.  The huge grey feline took an exception to Paul’s proximity and shoved him away when the first ball came in.  He managed to punch the ball away from over the troublesome rat and turned to face him.

“Good one,” Paul complimented before standing in front of him again.  One of the defenders tried to block him away from Kimmelson as the next ball came in, and the next, and the next… Eventually the grey cat turned to Paul and spat in his Eurovian accent.

“You trying get in my shorts, bum boy?”

“Nothing of the sort, Kimmy,” Paul responded, taken aback at the comment.  “Bloody heck.”

“You are, bum boy, trying to touch the cock,” he continued to spit and hiss at Paul who was about to turn away from the enraged feline when he was pushed by him.

“Fucking hell, Kimmy!” Paul snapped as he pushed back.  For his troubles he was struck by one of Kimmelson’s gloved fists, sending him backside first onto the muddy grass.  Michael and Stewart were pushing the mountainous goalkeeper away from Paul, helped by two more of the defenders.  Brynn came rushing over from the corner to help up the struck rat, followed quickly by Coach Clough when he saw the fracas.

“What the bloody hell is this about?!” the rabbit screamed with rage.

“He try touch cock!” Kimmelson yelled over the gathering crowd of players.

“I did nothing of the sort,” Paul protested.  “I was trying to pressure him-…”

“I don’t give a dog’s shit,” he continued to shout, his gaze constantly moving from Kimmelson to Paul.  “You don’t fight in the training ground.  If there’s paparazzi around they’ll have a fucking field day in the papers!  Sort your shit out or you’ll find yourself on the bench for the playoffs.”

“Sorry, Coach,” Paul offered as he walked away.

“Yes, Coach,” Kimmelson responded grimly.  “Don’t like faggot touching me.”

“You, Petr Kimmelson!” Clough pointed a finger at the huge cat.  “We’ll have none of that shit in our team!”  He was going to continue the tirade until the voice of Alec cut him off.

“What’s this about, Dave?” he asked his coach.

“Nothing that can’t be handled right away, Boss,” he explained as he turned to face the Rovers’ manager.  “Typical training-ground ego nonsense.”

“I see,” the old grey terrier sniffed before licking his lips and looking up at his goalkeeper.  “Come see me before you go home, Petr.”

As Alec turned away and casually strolled off, an arm around Clough’s shoulders to usher him along, the feline looked down at the ground before sighing and letting out a muttered “fuck” before they continued running the set piece.

Paul resumed his position in front of the prejudiced goalkeeper, albeit an extra step away.  He looked over his shoulder at the wide-eyed cat and nodded.  “It’s okay,” he said.  “You’re not the first, won’t be the last, mate.” And offered a handshake.
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(Contains: strong language)
“The Chairman will see you now, Mr. Smith,” the assistant sat at the desk told the old grey terrier.  Jessica was a mere morsel of a thing, despite being a Doberman.  Alec always thought of her as eye candy for the Chairman’s visitors, a mere distraction before the business of football or finance was to be discussed.  For Alec the business was football.

“I’ll see myself in,” he told the canine as he pushed the darkly varnished door open and stepped inside the Chairman’s office.  The Chairman himself was Peter Dermott, a fat old fox with old ideals.  Alec hated him, but that was what his job entailed from time to time.  “Mr. Dermott.”

“Take a seat, Alec,” Peter pointed to the wooden chair opposite his desk.  Alec sat on the leather covered cushion and lazily crossed his legs as he observed the aged vulpine reading the back page of a tabloid newspaper.  He folded the paper over and held it up for Alec to read the headline.  “What is this about?”

“It’s about our qualification for the playoffs,” Alec told him.  Peter snorted and threw the tabloid down on his desk.

“Fabulous?!” he yelled, repeating the headline that had been printed.  Below was a picture of his players celebrating, most notably the moment that Paul Kent blew a kiss to the crowd.  “Undefeated in the last half of the season, coming from five places above the relegation zone to third in less than twenty games and this is how we are described.  As fucking ‘fabulous?’.”

“I fail to see how a newspaper covering our success in the league using a mere play on stereotypical words is a problem,” Alec spoke frankly as he leaned forward and picked up the newspaper.  Opening it back up the old dog smiled as he opened the back page and glanced over the other stories.  “Besides, it was your idea to bring Kent in during the winter transfer window.”

“That was before…” Peter trailed off.  Alec looked up from reading the paper, waiting for the club chairman to finish his tirade.  "This is a club that’s looking at division one football next season, Alec.  We’re a club with a strong reputation for good, solid football.  I don’t think we should be parading ourselves as a cabaret act.”

“You know me, Pete,” Alec started as he folded the newspaper back up and set it down on the desk.  “I speak my mind and bollocks to the consequences.  That’s why you hired me at the start of the season, I don’t mince words and I do my bloody job with the best tools I have at my disposal.”

Peter sighed as he settled back into his chair.  “Go on…”

“Kent is my tool, Pete.  He is the tip of the spear and he goes through goals like whores go through clients.  It’s a whole new century.  Being an arse bandit is not a crime like it was sixty or seventy years ago.  Yes, it’s a ‘man’s game’ and I don’t approve myself, but he’s good at what he does and I say bollocks to anyone that disagrees, even you and your sword of Damocles.”

“I can respect that,” Peter said as he sat up and leaned across the desk.  “But I won’t have it.  This is Nayburn, not fucking Gayburn.  The playoffs are coming up, Alec.  I want you to drop Kent for both games.”

“You can’t tell me how to pick my team!” Alec raged.

“I can and I will,” Peter yelled back.  “Don’t forget who runs this club, who owns you and all of these players!”

“We need Kent,” Alec shouted in return.  “Without him it’s going to make our chances of promotion very slim indeed!”

“If that’s what it takes,” Peter said more calmly this time.  “Either you drop Kent from the team or I’ll take it further.”

“What does the board think of this?” Alec asked, seething.

“I have the full backing of the board,” Peter told him calmly.  Alec was shaking his head in disbelief.

“I’m not dropping him from the team,” the terrier verbally dug his heels in as he stood and turned away.  “I’ll bench him if need be, but there’s no way I can justify keeping him off the team.”

“If you bring him on the pitch your career is over,” Peter warned as he brushed the newspaper from his desk, the pages landing in a heap on the burgundy carpet as if to illustrate the fox’s point.  Alec had reached the door by the time the fox came up with the threat.  The old dog held the door handle and stopped when he heard it.  His job was his life and the fox had found the very weapon he needed to keep Alec in check.  “No mere threats, no board meetings, no contract settlement.  You’ll be out of the door, on your arse, scraping a living by managing non-league football like when I first found you.  Do you understand?”

Alec opened the door and took a moment to compose himself.

“Aye, I understand…”

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Draconian-Satirist
Jonas-S
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United Kingdom
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25,000 pageviews. That's about 6k more than my previous account managed before I w-.... *static...deleted*

The new logo looks like a retarded stick of corn.

Apparently the site is going to "bleed and breed" art.  The whole notion of sticking the old quote of "If it bleeds it breeds" in my head makes me think they're going to start putting paedo-porn up.  Maybe it's time to gtfo?

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:iconchocolatechilla:
Chocolatechilla Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2014   General Artist
3ae2c9ae684b414c4fd225394469f231 by Chocolatechilla  
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ZhaKrisstol Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy Birthday old bloke!
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Oy19 Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2014
Happy Birthday dude! :hug:
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Bro-Soda Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Webcam. All I can say.
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Draconian-Satirist Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2013
:3
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:iconchocolatechilla:
Chocolatechilla Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2013   General Artist
Happy birthday!
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Oy19 Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2013
Happy Birthday dude! :party:
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ZhaKrisstol Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy Birthday mate!
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Allethaen Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2012
Happy birthday! =D
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Happy birthday!
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